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» Blood Princes
Jan 21, 2010 - 1:15 AM - by Svafa
So in keeping with the cliches of the game.

-- You didn't really stab Kael in the face and loot his corpse, no no, that was his evil twin, Rodrigo! Tempest Keep was merely a set back!

-- Anub'Arak? Nope, didn't kill him in the 5 man, that was just another generic crypt lord who thought the crown looked cool and would wear it. The REAL Anub'Arak was hanging out beneath some construction site, baked out of his fucking spidery mind apparently.

-- Nefarion? No you didn't REALLY take his head cut it off and slam it on a spike or chain it up in the city, no no, that was his brother, DONALD. That's why he's in Cataclysm.

Is it any wonder that with such villians who refuse to die, (how shitty are we as heroes to not be able to tell when something is dead or just beaten to a pulp) 3 really annoying elves are baaaaaaaack, along with Kael's infamous line.



Ironic notes of the fight:

-- I was in charge of keeping balls from breaking, instead of busting them myself. I felt so dirty I showered afterward. (People will now quit reading the rest, picture me naked and wet, and go look at porn, while also hitting reply and demanding pics)

-- Fire, WAS GOOD TO STAND IN. My brain nearly melted from this as it took about 4 years to beat in fire bad, no standy in fire, into peoples heads.

-- Gnomes are unable to duck under shadowlances, and thus will get fucked REALLY fast without ''shadowy orb thingies''. I checked with 3 rocket surgeons, 14 scientists, and a golden retriever, that's the true blue technical name for them.

-- Using Heroism at 2% left on the bosses, makes that 2% go REALLY fast.
» So like
Jan 10, 2010 - 4:56 AM - by Svafa
normally I'd have something to rant about, or make fun of, or at least something snazzy to say, and usually pretty pictures to go with it since I know most have the attention span of cheese, but I've got nothing.



I mean fuck, this guy is just like fighting a target dummy, who happens to hit back, really really hard. I mean it's stab the boss in his face (or ass, or side.. like you can tell with this thing), make sure you get 3 proper debuffs so the breath doesn't kick your ass, and you're golden. It's 99% being carried by healers really, so good job to them. I mean hey at least it's a fight we finally would do well on right? No shit to really dodge or not stand in, nothing to kite, damn near straight DPS. So finally all our retards who tunnel vision meters every fight, would get a chance to flex their E-peen right? WRONG, some of our DPS was beyond abysmal, seriously we could have had tanks respec, stay in tank gear and done better.

So if you think you can do better DPS than a tank, by all fucking means apply, we'll sit our failbot asses no problem, I don't give a fuck if they're an officer, a CL, or Ronald fucking McDonald. I mean shit no one likes their food anyways, but seriously our DPS are baddies, app so we can replace them plz kk thx! Oh and those who expect to win the meters as it were every fight on every boss, need not apply. You're a total moron, much like some of the people we have, but I don't feel like writing a short story as to why you are so utterly stupid on a variety of levels.

Oh hey, look I found that rant I was lacking!
» You'd be surprised
Jan 07, 2010 - 3:52 AM - by Svafa
how fucking hard it is to find a picture of a monkey fucking a football!



You might wonder how that's relevant, well...



''Okay make sure your slimes merge before you run back.''
''DEEPS BOSS!?''
''Yes, but make sure your slime merges before you drag it back to the raid!''
''DEEPS BOSS!''
''Yes, BUT--''
''ME IS DEEPS BOSS, ME IS WIN, METER IS MAKE PENIS BIGGER!''
''Fuck it pull, we'll retard luck into a win sooner or later.''

Just when you think you can't get enough fire, they make green goo and clouds the new terrors to kill retards. Damn it all.
Our DPS, finding new ways to be baddies, with every boss.
» Muradin's Misadventures!
Dec 12, 2009 - 3:52 AM - by Svafa

He's late showing up for the boss.


Seems he got a little lost.


What a bunch of doucheba.. wait is that Jim!?


Meanwhile....


What happens when shit finally spawns and shows up.
» Reasons
Dec 09, 2009 - 7:55 PM - by Svafa
why Dances doesn't do updates! He'd start off with a picture like this:



and then talk about how neat the instance was, and how nifty the encounters were, blah blah blah. FUCK THAT.

THIS, THIS, is what most of the night consisted of:



Once we finally got in, we ran into stealth skeletons and other assortments of fun on the trash (okay mostly the stealth skeles). We meet up with the first boss pictured above, and everyone, EVERYONE is like omg dodge WW like Leo, fuck you if you get hit by WW or fire.

. . .

The WW hit for like 1800. That was threatening, at level 60!



I shouldn't complain, if the WW hurt we'd probably still be on the guy since we're failtards.

Onwards to boss #2, who for some reason reminded me of Akama with all the adds, but then this whole place screams BT to me for some odd reason. We learn deformed fanatics hit really hard on tanks. At least on two of our tanks, Jinxor tanked em fine and didn't even seem to notice.



Also people can't dodge ghosts, oh well at least it's not fire.


Not much to say on this, except hey, this fight is actually unique, and fun, fucking Blizzard did something right, hoo-- oh wait. . .



MY BOOTS ARE GREEN NOW WTF BLIZZARD? CAN'T YOU DO ANYTHING RIGHT? GREEN, ARE YOU SERIOUS? FSDLJFADSFJFJASDFJLSJEWA>CXJFDS
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